What am I doing?

Let me preface, if only to myself, I don't write well. I talk a lot, for that matter, but not intelligently. I don't know why I'm doing this, really. I suppose I'm curious, wondering and feeling reflective. I don't keep a journal, although I've thought about it like a thousand times, it just seems so time consuming and let's face it...WHO has this kind of time. Well, for one, I don't. I should be cleaning my house or exercising or something productive for sure.  So, why am I starting a blog...perhaps to minimize the overwhelming extrovert-ness in myself and save my friends, family and my poor introvert husband from my need to talk out everything I'm thinking all the time. When I have attempted to journal in the past, I felt I sounded dumb and laughed at my attempts to sound intelligent in my writing, because like I said, I don't write.  But, here I am. Putting in all out there and not just in a tattered journal, but on the internet of all places. Oh and I should warn you (if there is a you reading this) I tend to talk and write in run on sentences. So, if you are an english major, I welcome any suggestions on how to improve the way I write or speak. I've heard men are linear thinkers and women's minds are more or less like spaghetti, all over the place. This is definitely true of  myself.

Over this last year I have come across multiple friends (ok, maybe 5) who blog and when coming across these individuals and their sites, I wonder...do people really CARE what we have to say. I mean, we have narcissistic tendencies as a society to be sure (.. All the reality shows....you know which ones I'm talking about...the housewives, the parents of multiples, the marriages of multiples, dangerous jobs, the overly rich and spoiled...Oh geez, I could go on for days and apparently, so can this trend.) But, I've been encouraged by some of these bloggers in their thoughts shared and in their boldness to share them. Because let's face it, many of us don't feel comfortable sharing our questions, or doubts, our fears and our weaknesses. Encouragement doesn't just occur while watching someone else's successes but also in seeing their shared struggles and sometimes in each other's painful losses and failures. Ultimately through all this we will hopefully see God's amazing weaving through the calluses and pin pricks, the magnificent creation along the rocky, windy road and His beautiful pottery produced in the midst of the the dirty, messy and beat down process. We are not done raising our children and God is not done with us.

Titus 2:3-5 states:

^3(C) Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior,^(D)not slanderers^(E) or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled,^(F) pure,^(G) working at home, kind, and^(H) submissive to their own husbands,^(I) that the word of God may not be reviled. 

This is not new and in fact there are probably 4378+ (I'm guessing, of course) other blogs and or websites using the same verse as their foundation for existing. However, can there be enough encouragement or teaching? It seems to me that there are many women who are feeling like life, marriage and parenthood is not what they expected and YES, that is true in all of us in varying degrees. But, I see a sea of "believers" in mega churches and in the small intimate churches alike who feel utterly alone and "muddled". And so, here we are. Here I am, thankful for God's vast mercy and grace for me. Hoping to find Him more as I offer this up as a both a confession and prayer. Dear Lord, Help Me. I don't know what I'm doing?