Freedom to Hate

Sheesh!


 I just spent some time perusing through some various links, websites and blogs. It all started when I was trying to find out more about the Pioneer Woman's book tour and it led me to several pioneer women haters or haters of women with privilege or haters of anyone who writes about a life that is seemingly perfect, blessed, happy. Haters of people, haters of a life different from their own, haters of haters. Who cares if ThePioneerWoman is rich and isn't the picture perfect representative of what life is really like for a rancher's wife? Who cares if she's rich? The fact of the matter is..her story is her own, just as my story is my own. There are situations we are born into and then there are situations we make for ourself. And if her site gets over a million hits a month, then she is a voice that is either relatable, admirable and/or lovable on some level. What's her crime..? She keeps a PG site that references life, children, marriage, food, gardening, photography...there is nothing illegal, she doesn't claim to have it all figured out..but aren't these the same kinds of things we discuss with our friends?..if they give us a recipe that is not "original" do we cry "LIAR" & "CHEAT". If I photoshop out a zit on my face before posting it...is that soooo wrong? Sorry, for the rant. 


Seeing the haters' sites made me feel dark and sad and yucky. Most of them had profanity and essentially crucified whichever person or ideal they were mocking.  Even right now...I am gorging myself on a bag of Chex Mix stressed over what I am about to right....


I'm thankful for the freedom of speech but I see far too often that our "freedoms" give people room to be hateful, awful people all under Freedom's name. I understand how any person or subject of recognition will draw both lovers and haters. It's true of politics, news, religion, entertainment, etc...but what makes people think that being ugly and hateful about it, about anything, is ok. And it IS anyone..there are people who call themselves christians who are so truly hateful in their approach to a particular subject or group of people that Christ is not even recognizable. Then there are the liberals who beg the argument "hey, whatever you want to believe is your own choice", yet are murderous and angry toward anyone who differs from their opinion. I know this is not true of everyone. But, these freedoms are getting abused for the sake of shock and awe, for the sake of "this is what makes me happy" and for the sake of "freedom". People are getting away with moral and ethical murder and depravity for the sake of freedom. I am a believer in Christ and it is my responsibility to honor God, love others MORE than myself, love my enemies, spread the GOOD NEWS, Forgive, give grace and mercy because that is what I have received. If I am quick to judge, quick to argue, quick to hate then I am no Christian and all I do for the name of Christ is slander it. 


I believe in the BIBLE.
I believe Christ is the son of GOD, died for my sins and that he rose again. 


Why is that offensive? Who could argue that THAT is a problem...many. And many would and could argue that this post is offensive...fine. But I will tell you this, I still have the right  to say so..and by saying so I am not claiming perfection or that I am more deserving of heaven, Christ's death or his grace. I am human. I am flawed. And I promise this..I will make mistakes every day and so will EVERYONE else. NO ONE IS PERFECT. ALL MY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS ARE FAR FROM PERFECT. I AM FALLIBLE. YOU ARE FALLIBLE. God still died for us. HE will still forgive/love you and I. I cannot say this is true of mankind. 


Romans 5:8 
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 






Romans 3:9-26
⁹ What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. ¹⁰ As it is written:

   “There is no one righteous, not even one;
 ¹¹ there is no one who understands;
   there is no one who seeks God. ¹² All have turned away,
   they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
   not even one.”^[b] 13 “Their throats are open graves;
   their tongues practice deceit.”^[c]
“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”^[d]
 14 “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”^[e] 15 “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
 ¹⁶ ruin and misery mark their ways, ¹⁷ and the way of peace they do not know.”^[f]
 18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”^[g]

 ¹⁹ Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. ²⁰ Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

 ²¹ But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. ²² This righteousness is given through faith in^[h] Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ²⁵ God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,^[i] through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— ²⁶ he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.


*****If you want to hate me for loving God then I say, bring it. 


Phil 1:20-21


I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 

Sunday

      It's 4:52 pm on a Sunday evening, we've had 4 or so weeks of springtime weather and the cedar trees have been dropping pollen like a flour sifter. I don't usually suffer from allergies, but OH MY GOSH this last month has been lame. I have been on a consistent schedule of all sorts of antihistamines and STILL, I've been regularly asked if I'm "ok" because I look like I've been crying, been told by a loved and honest teen that I "look like crap" and I fall into my Benadryl coma each night with tissues stuffed up my nose to keep from leaving snail trails of snot on my pillow. Sexy, huh? So, you can imagine that when I heard it would rain today, I smiled blissfully at the anticipation of the fresh smell, the perfect napping weather and the clean and pollen-free air. Ah, yes.


But, it snowed.


Now, it's not that I hate snow, I enjoy it's pure white beauty and the quietness of a snowfall and the chill in the air when you step outside, just not so much the shoveling, power outages, slip-sliding in your snow boots out to the car with 3 children all complaining that their snow pants are giving them a "wedgie". But, it did snow and since we had guests and good friends from down the hill come up to stay the night it was a fun surprise to wake up to and something they don't get to experience often and we enjoyed the view while drinking our coffee and eating cinnamon rolls.


   Since they left, I have been extraordinarily lazy. Some of which is due to the busy schedules we've maintained and that will continue when tomorrow begins. Today, we've watched some "I Shouldn't Be Alive" on Animal Planet and I read one of my favorite blog's by ThePioneerWomen.com and got caught up the story of her engagement to her husband. (I'm not a romance novel kind of girl, but goodness gracious, this girl's description of how she feel about her husband leaves you feeling all giddy and romantic and like you want to throw your husband down and kiss his face off! Let's just say, it's a good read.) Even now as I write, my living room is littered with Thomas the Train tracks..I'm pretty sure there is teetering pile of laundry that needs to be done, I don't have the slightest idea what we're going to do for dinner and I'm still in my pajamas. (I did manage to wash my face and brush my teeth today) But in all honesty, I am enjoying the day at home with the family...I'm pleading the "day of rest/Sabbath" argument for any of you type-A homemakers who are probably at this very moment re-tiling a bathroom, cleaning your baseboards or sewing clothes for your children. So, as I throw another log on the fire and think chips, salsa and guacamole is sounding pretty good for dinner, I will continue to relish in this day of rest. This day with my family at home.


PS. I probably will get to that some of that laundry. I'm all for recycling but not when it comes to underwear.

Ordinary

Do you ever get jealous over the giftedness or qualities you see in others? I do, all the time if I'm honest. Whether it's maintaining a fit physique, a put together house and/or a tidy home, exercise commitment, runner, great finance skills and no debt, having that "gentle and quiet spirit", the ability to memorize scripture easily, a beautiful singing voice, having a positive attitude all the time, having a husband whose schedule makes him more available or flexible, good at yard work, good at home improvements, a phenomenal leadership quality, great knowledge in their job, good time management, great organization, writes well, great photography, great cook, great manager of all things mom-related, etc, etc, etc.


There is one blogger I really like who has done very well, named the "Pioneer Woman". She cooks, she takes great pictures, she writes and she's funny, she home schools and manages to have this beautiful  home somewhere I cannot recall. Her success in blogging has led to a cookbook, a website with many followers, talk show engagements...yadda yadda yadda. To top it all off she's beautiful and thin. Geez Lady, could you have a flaw?? Please???


My other favorite blogger is Shauna Niequist, author of Cold Tangerines and Bittersweet. I love her because she is real and honest and admits her own broken-ness over difficulty conceiving. I envy her because she writes and speaks beautifully and her giftedness is being recognized and allowing her opportunities she never dreamed of. She's loves to host parties and cooks all kinds of fun and intriguing dishes and writes captivatingly about it all and her relationship with Christ. She too is thin and beautiful, this year she completed a marathon..all the while she does speaking engagements across the country and I think she sings too...(sigh) 


I got certified to teach BLS CPR, thanks to our local school district this last fall. I've been an RN for more than 13 years and worked in the ER for over 12 now and have participated in giving "CPR" more times that I could possible count but the idea of teaching it made me nervous.  I'm not the most academic person nor am I the most dynamic speaker. I'm more or less a diarrhea-of-the-mouth talker and can occasionally get a laugh from my blather. I relate and relay information best through experiences and stories. So teaching a class to, let's say a more academic mind, I might come across as more of a scatterbrain than a "teacher".  I was supposed to teach a class to another local school district a couple of weeks ago and the class did occur, but not at all as I had planned. It's supposed to be a video led course and the video equipment failed. Had I prepared some notes ahead of time, I may have come across more organized, but I felt flustered and like I was forgetting something. I'm sure I appeared like a deer in the headlights and left that day feeling deflated and discouraged. I know my emotions and thoughts are shallow, vain and prideful. I just want to be extraordinary in something, in anything really. And I find, more often than not, that I am plain ordinary. I am ordinary looking gal who has been 20-40 lbs overweight most of her adult life. I am an ordinary nurse who does her job, but rarely stands out. I don't cook phenomenal dishes, I don't write or speak amazing things, I am an ordinary teacher, I don't sing well (although my secret prayer since childhood has always been that I'd wake up with an amazing voice...still hoping). I am an ordinary friend who is sometimes "fun" to have around but rarely feels that I have someone who is my "best" friend, I am an ordinary wife, cook, housekeeper, mom, and most painfully I am an ordinary christian. 


I wish that I had risen to the occasion and been more confident when that class fell apart, that I had let it roll off my back and instructed in a way that depicted both knowledge, competency and experience. I'm afraid that wasn't me. Over the next several days, this weighed heavily on me. If I really stop and think, it's clear that my attitude and heart are very wrong. If I look back at our great heroes of Scripture, I would see a large group of ordinary people who did great things, not necessarily because of their skills or talents, and definitely not because of their success, it was because they had a deep commitment to our Lord and to doing His will even in their failures and flaws.  And yes, some things extraordinary are due the talents given...like singing or writing or even speaking well. But many things that people do well at are because they are committed to doing the best they can and learning all they can about that particular "thing" because they love it and want to do it well. Some people are more organized with their thoughts or actions and so having an organized life or sentence may come easier to them. But the house does not pick up itself, does it? And having the self control to think before you speak is something we all need on varying levels, right? A great hostess requires that you first invite someone over...finishing a marathon is only done with months of training... being a great teacher or instructor requires that you know the material and are prepared.... I could obviously go on.


The bible describes the church as a body. Each member having a purpose...there cannot be two heads, there cannot be 5 hands and only two arms. The body is designed to be balanced and each part complimentary to one another...and maybe, perhaps one's job is hidden like the pancreas. This is a small organ behind the stomach that has the important function of regulating bile and insulin released into the body so it can metabolize and get it's nutrition appropriately. But it hides and rarely gets credit and when it goes bad...it can take years to recognize yet, without it the body doesn't function well and will eventually die. The church and the world need ordinary people who are committed to doing the work, the hard,  sometimes un-fun, unrecognized, unglamorous jobs. But for whose glory am I working, for my own or for the glory of my Lord. If I seek my own recognition I am no better than the pharisees who prayed in public wearing their fancy robes. Maybe, I'm not a hand or foot or neck..maybe, I'm the pancreas or one of the small bones in the wrist who are small and easily forgotten yet part of a greater structure.  (The eight carpal bones are collectively known as the Carpus, or wrist. The bones of the Carpus consist of the Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetral, Pisiform, Hamate, Capitate, Trapezoid, and the Trapezium.-I had to look this up, because I could not remember the names myself) 


In the end, I need to seek God's recognition, not man's. I need to compare myself to Christ and not others. I need to pray for more self control so that I may be committed to the work given me and do the best I can even if my best is ordinary. So, I'll still sing loud in my car looking forward to the day when I get to heaven and my voice will be beautiful;  I'll continue to teach CPR and work hard to organize the class and be prepared for any equipment failure; I will eat better, not because I need to be thin, but because taking care of the body God gave me is honoring to him: I will try to be the best, readily available tool God can use.