A boxed delivery

Last night I arrived back home from the She Speaks conference. It was an amazing, inspiring and eye opening experience. I was able to hear from faithful and obedient women who were following their "calling" to teach scripture and encourage other sisters in Christ how to more effectively and genuinely share Jesus. During my time there I met some beautiful women who blessed my heart and friended me despite all my feelings of awkwardness. We were challenged to listen for God, to know him more and use the gifts given us to share Him and his truths with others on whatever platform God provides. To minister to my world of influence and trust God to do the rest.

One of the groups I participated in was a speaker evaluation group. My group leaders were Melissa Taylor and Stephanie Clayton. They were sweet, encouraging and gracious. Our mission was to share a 3 minute testimony on Friday and a 5 minute bible verse teaching on Saturday. They conceded right off that it's crazy to expect a 3 minute testimony and 5 minute teaching but it was a lesson in being concise and sharing your heart. I decided that attempting to reduce my life story (not that by worldly standards it's very exciting) to 3 minutes could only be accomplished if I shared a specific meaningful story or shared a theme.. I opted with the theme because it's more fun to make the abstract applicable and profound. I'm not sure that I accomplished either but I did cry, spoke everything I planned to say, said "um" at least a dozen times but I did finish within the 3 minute cut off.

Here is my 3 minute testimony:



A British playwright, Tom Stoppard, is quoted as saying "Life in a box is better than no life at all...".  

Life in a box is something I can relate to because, until I met Christ, that's exactly how I was living.  I grew up in a family that attended church together. My guides for living and our view of God was confined to a box. In all honesty, I loved it. I knew what was expected of me and had always been an "excellent rule follower". I had no plans to step out of these boundaries, mostly out of fear of failure and being the attention seeking people pleaser, this was a great way to live.

You see, box living has its benefits: you earn the trust of others, you receive praise and you avoid all the really bad consequences. Win, win, win. I was exactly what we want our kids to be. One time I lied to my parents and before they even suspected I came crying and confessed.  

But box living has its down side...

Growing up in a church, I must have heard the gospel at least 500 times but it was muted by the box I lived in and it failed to reach my sanctimonious heart.  I remember thinking "I don't think i sinned today". 

Outwardly, I don't think anyone questioned the destination of my soul. I was even highlighted in a yearbook article about my "faith" and involvement in church. 

 Phil 1:8 "But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this, I rejoice" 

Growing up in the church without revelation of the gospel is like performing a choreographed dance you've known your whole life. You know exactly what to do and how to look- kind of like a Stepford Christian, pretty on the outside but dead and hollow on the inside. You know, the lost outside the church are easy to spot, it's the lost inside the church that can be harder to find and reach. 

It was during my Senior year of high school when my eyes were opened to see that all my box living didn't earn me Gods attention or earn his favor. That was the day that the gospel penetrated. Thankfully, despite my walls of self righteousness and pride, Christ made a hole of truth. He revealed to me that, I too was a sinner that deserved death and required Christ's sacrifice.  My box living had blinded me from seeing my need for His grace . . 

Rom 3:10 “There is no one righteous, not even one;"  

I became aware that it was someone boxed like me who had yelled, "crucify him", it was someone like me who stood right next to truth, yet didn't recognize it. My box living was a delusion of protection that was destined to burn up in hell with me willingly inside.

Since then I get to follow him where he leads and pray He would use my old box and transform it into a billboard of truth that helps me point others to him. 

Freedom to Hate

Sheesh!


 I just spent some time perusing through some various links, websites and blogs. It all started when I was trying to find out more about the Pioneer Woman's book tour and it led me to several pioneer women haters or haters of women with privilege or haters of anyone who writes about a life that is seemingly perfect, blessed, happy. Haters of people, haters of a life different from their own, haters of haters. Who cares if ThePioneerWoman is rich and isn't the picture perfect representative of what life is really like for a rancher's wife? Who cares if she's rich? The fact of the matter is..her story is her own, just as my story is my own. There are situations we are born into and then there are situations we make for ourself. And if her site gets over a million hits a month, then she is a voice that is either relatable, admirable and/or lovable on some level. What's her crime..? She keeps a PG site that references life, children, marriage, food, gardening, photography...there is nothing illegal, she doesn't claim to have it all figured out..but aren't these the same kinds of things we discuss with our friends?..if they give us a recipe that is not "original" do we cry "LIAR" & "CHEAT". If I photoshop out a zit on my face before posting it...is that soooo wrong? Sorry, for the rant. 


Seeing the haters' sites made me feel dark and sad and yucky. Most of them had profanity and essentially crucified whichever person or ideal they were mocking.  Even right now...I am gorging myself on a bag of Chex Mix stressed over what I am about to right....


I'm thankful for the freedom of speech but I see far too often that our "freedoms" give people room to be hateful, awful people all under Freedom's name. I understand how any person or subject of recognition will draw both lovers and haters. It's true of politics, news, religion, entertainment, etc...but what makes people think that being ugly and hateful about it, about anything, is ok. And it IS anyone..there are people who call themselves christians who are so truly hateful in their approach to a particular subject or group of people that Christ is not even recognizable. Then there are the liberals who beg the argument "hey, whatever you want to believe is your own choice", yet are murderous and angry toward anyone who differs from their opinion. I know this is not true of everyone. But, these freedoms are getting abused for the sake of shock and awe, for the sake of "this is what makes me happy" and for the sake of "freedom". People are getting away with moral and ethical murder and depravity for the sake of freedom. I am a believer in Christ and it is my responsibility to honor God, love others MORE than myself, love my enemies, spread the GOOD NEWS, Forgive, give grace and mercy because that is what I have received. If I am quick to judge, quick to argue, quick to hate then I am no Christian and all I do for the name of Christ is slander it. 


I believe in the BIBLE.
I believe Christ is the son of GOD, died for my sins and that he rose again. 


Why is that offensive? Who could argue that THAT is a problem...many. And many would and could argue that this post is offensive...fine. But I will tell you this, I still have the right  to say so..and by saying so I am not claiming perfection or that I am more deserving of heaven, Christ's death or his grace. I am human. I am flawed. And I promise this..I will make mistakes every day and so will EVERYONE else. NO ONE IS PERFECT. ALL MY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS ARE FAR FROM PERFECT. I AM FALLIBLE. YOU ARE FALLIBLE. God still died for us. HE will still forgive/love you and I. I cannot say this is true of mankind. 


Romans 5:8 
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 






Romans 3:9-26
⁹ What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. ¹⁰ As it is written:

   “There is no one righteous, not even one;
 ¹¹ there is no one who understands;
   there is no one who seeks God. ¹² All have turned away,
   they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
   not even one.”^[b] 13 “Their throats are open graves;
   their tongues practice deceit.”^[c]
“The poison of vipers is on their lips.”^[d]
 14 “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”^[e] 15 “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
 ¹⁶ ruin and misery mark their ways, ¹⁷ and the way of peace they do not know.”^[f]
 18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”^[g]

 ¹⁹ Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. ²⁰ Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

 ²¹ But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. ²² This righteousness is given through faith in^[h] Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ²⁵ God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,^[i] through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— ²⁶ he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.


*****If you want to hate me for loving God then I say, bring it. 


Phil 1:20-21


I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.